i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
