end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
