he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
it glows. i had to have it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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