Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
