you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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