Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Randomize
