my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We don't watch enough power rangers
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
