Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
