good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
