Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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