yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
