She is in my trunk
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
