did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
cat food counts as protein by the way
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
