Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
