you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
