Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
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He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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