hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
