Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
