He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
