told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
