Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
