there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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