Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well you can't waste a boner
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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