it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
