Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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