I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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