I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
