he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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