I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
