im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just invented taco cereal.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
