Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
