just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
