I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
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