I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
