I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
