once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
