You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
