I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
