The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
