So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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