I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
