Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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