A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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