Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
