Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
