Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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