i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
