To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
