Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
