the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
