dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Randomize
