question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
