you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
