pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
