from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
