Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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