If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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