We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
