we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
