Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
