The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
